Delivery Options
Oh, it doesn’t end until after we take your money. No, we have plenty of delivery options to choose from just to add to the final expense!Select from these pretty sucky choices:
- Damaged shipping containers!
You got it, we’ll beat the tar out of the shipping container so you can displace the blame when your gift doesn’t go over well! - Have your product arrived in damaged condition, cosmetically or for real!
That’s right, if you want, we’ll break the product if you want. Nothing’s better than getting a gift that looks really cool, only to find out it’s been damaged “in shipping.” You get credit for a gift, but don’t have to expend the real costs because it’s broken. If you’d like, we can even simulate missing pieces. - Have your product arrive late!
What a perfect slap in the face -- or -- the perfect cover up! We make it look like we’ve screwed up, because most likely we have. - Include the wrong instructions!
This one is brilliant. If something comes with directions, we provide the wrong ones! Guaranteed to annoy at just the right level, plus your recipient feels extra stupid if they can’t figure it out. Bonus! - Indifferent gift wrapping!
Have your special gift arrive in our indifferent wrapping paper that looks like an intern’s last day on the job.